I’m queer, been out for 13 years, and I am proud to be who I am. You might have hard a time coming to grip with what I just told you, but I need to you to stop and think. This is not easy for me to share with you. Coming out is a process that all queer people must go through and it’s our decision when we tell people, who we will tell, how we tell them, and why we want to tell them.
我是同性恋，已经公开性取向（即“出柜”）13年了，我很自豪能一直做我自己。 你可能很难理解我刚刚告诉你的事情，但我希望你可以停下来思考一下。 出柜是几乎所有同性恋者必须经历的过程，这个过程对于我来说并不容易。至于同性恋者什么时候出柜，向谁出柜，怎么出柜和为什么要出柜，这些都是我们自己的决定和选择。
Being queer, even in today’s world, is still not easy. Even though many countries, states, provinces, and cities have enacted friendlier policies towards queer people and more people are accepting of us, there are still people and places that are ignorant of me and my community. In many countries, including my current country of residency China, people like me are forced to hide because of fear. Fear that people will reject us, not understand us, or treat us in an ill manner, especially those who love us the most. Many societies tell their people how they should live their lives, including China’s. It’s because of pressure from society and people’s unwillingness to change traditional ideas that many queer people conform. Instead of doing what makes us happy, we do what makes other people happy. This last resort decision along with people’s ignorant attitudes hurt us and makes us feel unnecessary shame for who we are. Anytime someone tells us that who we are is wrong, that other people cannot accept us, or say anything negative about us, it destroys our confidence and willpower to continue believing that there is nothing wrong with us. This kind of negativity strikes itself into our hearts and souls and if we must endure this kind of situation for a long time, it can even drive us to commit suicide because we think that no one loves us and that we made the wrong decision for being honest and true to ourselves.
Moreover, it’s not easy for us to express ourselves in public with our partners, unlike straight people. Straight people can be as affectionate as they want, even too much, and people view that as being normal. However, for queer people in places where people are not as accepting, especially smaller towns or conservative areas, we must be careful of our behavior. Many of us have come out, are proud of who we are, and our friends and/or families accept us, but the world is still cruel. We don’t kiss, hold hands, or become affectionate in public with our lover because we are not ashamed of who we are, no; we do it to protect ourselves. It’s clear the world still has a lot of progress to make.
然而，公开同性取向又是一件充满挑战，非常困难的事情。异性情侣可以在公众场合亲热，即使尺度很大，人们也认为这是“正常”的事情。 但是面对同性恋恋人的亲昵举动，人们往往不能接受，特别是在一些小城镇或者保守地区，同性恋恋人必须时刻注意自己的行为。 很多同性恋者已经出柜，并为遵从自己的内心而感到骄傲，我们的朋友和家人也选择理解和接受，但这世界仍然是残酷的。我们不能在公众场合亲吻，牵手，向我们的爱人表达爱意，不是因为我们为自己的性向感到羞耻，而是为了保护自己。这个社会，确实还有很大的进步空间。
On the flip side though, many of us, like me, have seen the times change. We have seen people who previously did not accept us start to ask us questions and want to understand who we are and our sexualities. We have seen the world change its opinion about us and give us more rights, more protections, and even the right to marry as we deserve. I am very optimistic about what the future holds for me, my boyfriend and future husband, and the rest of my queer brothers and sisters in the world. We have a lot of work to do, but nothing is impossible. As long as we stand, support, love, understand and unite together we can do anything. The only thing that we ask of you, the reader, is that you don’t immediately judge us when we tell you our sexual orientation or gender identity. Please try to understand us from our perspective and remember how difficult it must be for us to tell you. When we come out to you that is our most vulnerable moment. So please remember: No matter what we say or do, we are still the same people. We are still the people you know and love. We are still us.
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